Camilleon

I refused to learn how to write poetry. I let it remain a cry that bursts like fireflies, gleaming as they drift around. I catch them, at last, after watching them flutter, and stitch them onto paper.

Poetry, to me, is the longing to have my mother here, an attempt to keep her memory radiant. It is the fury, regret, and tenderness of this ever-present grief.

Poetry is the chill experienced when the sunset hues are displayed on top of the mountains so radiantly, on the most mundane of my commutes. It’s my attempt to show my awe of our Creator.

Sometimes, it is about an irrelevant feeling—staring at the fluorescent office lights on my endless shift, while longing to dive into the beach. Deepened by the ache, my bones reject the winter chill.

My need for my daughter’s embrace after a long day, and the safety of my husband’s love when I come home from work. I write about the love I was once given and the love that I get to give.

My breaking heart at the abandonment experienced by all those girls I counseled for a week. A piece of my heart, I gave it to each of them.

Poetry is how I explain who I am and why I am. I could never just live this life without reflecting this love back, without giving what I can to others. That’s all I ever saw my mother do. I was raised by a mother whose heart was so wide that pupils, friends, family, and a community rested in it.

Oh, what a loss we all grieve, those touched by her love. I’d like to take you all in and make you coffee and tea. How much brighter the kindness she ignited in us shines, now that it’s up to us to keep her legacy of selflessness, kindness, humor, and love radiant.

My writing is a tiny space held in this blog, with snapshots of who I was, where I’ve been, the fullness of this life, and the void of what was lost. The home that saw me grow, the stars I gazed at in the darkness of a somnolent Central American town, the mundane and permeable events that stream in and out of my days.

© Camille Bond and Camilleon Blog, 2025. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Camille Bond with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.