Camilleon

I opened this blog in 2016 to highlight the creative side of the surrounding community. When I post my own writing, part of me wonders how many of the 200 viewers of my post read it with cruel curiosity. For a time, the fear of scrutiny stopped me. Now I view my writing as a therapeutic outlet for a whirlwind of fleeting thoughts that pile up, and in my attempts to understand them, I stitch them all together in these published drafts. I wonder how much creativity stays hidden in the shadows because of the fear of scrutiny. Human nature often leads us to compare ourselves to others when someone else bravely does something we haven’t. When someone has the courage to say, ‘I created something, and I’m putting it out there,’ how do you respond? If your instinct is to criticize, it may be a reflection of your own creative hesitations.

Be Bold

There’s no need for a grand purpose, significant profit, or recognition. Write, paint, dance, sing, and compose for no one else but yourself. It’s incredibly therapeutic to express our experiences through a finished piece of craftwork. When you’re ready to share it with others, do so on a platform where you feel comfortable.

There doesn’t need to be a reason

My writing doesn’t generate any income, it reaches only a small audience, and it still has a long way to go before an English professor might consider it acceptable work. In a world that values productivity, I sometimes feel held back by the time and effort I invest in writing, especially when I don’t receive any tangible or intangible rewards in return. Despite this, the urge to write remains strong. I chose to write blog posts, poetry, and journal entries as a personal form of therapy, focusing less on how my work is received and more on the process itself. Occasionally, I receive messages saying that my posts have voiced someone’s experience with grief or motherhood, and that in itself keeps me going.

There are no rules

Write a poem without rhythm. Will Pablo Neruda squirm in his grave a little? Perhaps. Would your English professor give you a D for it? Maybe. Was it worth your time? That depends on how you perceive your efforts. In my case, I focus on how relieved I feel after working through my terrible drafts and gaining a clearer understanding of myself, rather than on how they were received or how good my writing is. I sometimes have two lines of a poem that I can’t stop thinking about until I sit down and write them. Remember, if you’ve ever felt sorry for someone sharing their creative work, don’t. Chances are, their motivation was simply to express the ‘creative jiggles’ inside them. If you see a friend showcasing a painting they made during COVID, instead of judging its quality, feel proud of them for finding solace and comfort during a difficult time.

Closing

I was at a community event where only four people were dancing to live, animated local German music. I thought to myself, I wish I were the type of person who could get up and join them. Then I looked down at my daughter and paused to think about what I was modeling for her. Without giving it much more thought, I decided to walk up to the dance floor and dance with her. Even though I’m Hispanic, my genetics seemed to have missed the memo that I was supposed to be good at dancing! But we had such a fun time. My daughter even broke out into the cutest breakdance move, joined by two other kids. Don’t be the type of person who sits on the sidelines to scrutinize. Either walk away altogether, or fearlessly join the dance.